Do you feel uncomfortable talking to other people, or in front of groups? Are you reserved at social gatherings or self-conscious when you’re the centre of attention? If so, you are probably very aware that you’re shy. You shouldn’t be ashamed that you’re shy, but it may be keeping you from greater opportunities and peace of mind in your life, especially if your career goals involve interacting with customers or clients. It can even impact your relationships with your fellow employees and bosses. If you’ve made the decision to do something about it, here are some tips to help you move past it:

Do you know why you’re shy?

If you’re looking for long-term improvement, it’s important you take some time to think about where your shyness may be coming from. You may not be able to do this alone, so talking to a doctor or therapist can be helpful. But if you haven’t been able to figure out why you experience shyness you can still make improvements.

One step at a time

This isn’t going to be an overnight change. One way to start is to pay attention to if you tend to look at the ground? If so, when you notice yourself doing it, lift up your chin. As that becomes more of a regular thing, start looking people in the eye. When you’re comfortable with that, try a greeting. Making these changes can give you more confidence to move forward. Of course, if you’re already in a job where you deal with customers or clients, just do the best you can and try to keep moving forward.

Make goals

Make a plan where you lay out goals you want to reach, this can help you keep moving forward. Being able to cross off your goals will encourage you to continue and helps you to see you’re overall goal is attainable. For some, setting deadlines for their goals motivates them; for others they just add pressure. You need to decide which the best is for you. A study by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University in California found that your chance of achieving your goals rises by 42% when you write them down.

Pay attention to others

You can learn from others by observing how they manage their interactions with people. When you pay attention to how those around you are communicating, you can get all sorts of ideas of how to deal with situations you may not have even thought of. Their experience can be your guidelines. Also if you’re watching others, you’re not spending so much time worrying about yourself.

Let your peers know what’s going on

This is especially important when your shyness is impacting your work. If it hasn’t come up already it’s helpful if you let your peers and superiors know about the issue. This can help them understand when it affects your work, and provide opportunities to encourage and support you. Everybody goes further with support. Keep them updated, and let them celebrate with you when you achieve your goals along the way.

Practice

They say “practice makes perfect” for a reason. The more you can visualize yourself succeeding the easier it will be to get there. You can practice in front of a mirror, or with a trusted friend. This can help you feel more prepared when you are in situations that test you and it allows others to give you pointers. Your employer may have resources available to help you feel more comfortable with your duties or practice good customer service techniques.

Establish a routine

Often, dealing with customers or clients can have a repetitive aspect to it. If you establish a routine it can help you move forward when you’re in a situation where you get flustered, embarrassed or overwhelmed. When you have a plan, you don’t have to worry about making the right decisions because they’ve already been mapped out. Create different plans for different scenarios and use them until you can more spontaneously interact with your customers.

Be kind to yourself

Everyone is different, and you can’t compare yourself to anyone else.

You need to focus on your own progress and not worry about what others think. There are many, many people who are shy, and many who have overcome it; but everyone does it in their own way on their own timeline. Being kind to yourself, especially when you feel you have failed, is important to help you keep going. You can overcome this!

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